We all know that life shows us all sorts of metaphors—symbolic representations. Another way of saying the same thing is that much of what we notice around us is a harmonic resonation to what's going on inside ourselves. The basic idea is to notice what we notice—to pay attention to the fact that we're suddenly focusing on something to the level of distraction.
It's not a problem for us to actually pay attention to something. Instead, the skill we want to develop is to additionally notice the act of noticing, itself. It requires a bit of objectivity to step back and say, "Gee, I'm sure paying a lot of attention to this thing lately."
Most of us simply attend that thing, without realizing that we're exerting some energy in a repetitive way. We don't notice that we're getting stuck paying attention to some particular thing, over and over again.
Suddenly, we're noticing something repeatedly, more than just in passing. And, this is often an important clue to what's going on elsewhere in our lives. We notice things for a reason, even if we don't at first consciously understand that reason.
In many ways, this relates to the psychological concepts of projection and transference. Whatever repeatedly captures our attention, it usually tends to contain the solution to some problem we're having in our lives. We're just so busy worrying about the problem itself, we don't see the way out.
I love to fish, and particularly, I like to cook up the fish I catch. There's nothing better than fresh fried fish, right out of the water, and so I've spent many a fine summer afternoon looking for dinner with a pole, some lures, and a lake. Around here, the common fish to go after is the largemouth bass, sometimes called a black bass.
Most of our Midwestern lakes are stocked with three basic types of fish; the bass, catfish of some sort, and little sunfish otherwise known as bluegills. Actually, the largemouth bass and the bluegills are all part of the same family, as are rock bass. But it's the little sunnies that are interesting.
Whenever I try out a new lake, the important question is whether or not there are fish in that lake. A quick test is to toss in a lure or even a hook with some bait, and see what happens. The sunnies are like bugs on a lawn or shrimp in the sea—they're everywhere. If there are sunnies in the lake, then there surely are bass and catfish, for the most part.
Over the years, I've tended toward lures because these damn-fool sunnies are always stealing my bait. They're too small to do much with, but they have sharp teeth and are exceptionally fast. They can eat a worm off a hook, hardly ever getting caught. In other words, they're annoying little pests, and other than indicating that it's a healthy lake with larger fish, I've tried to ignore them. And yet, I always notice them.
There came a time when I wanted to know how better to fillet a fish. I got tired of those tiny little pin bones that get stuck between the teeth. When I heard about a video that taught a new system, I bought a copy. Indeed; it looked like something I could learn, but the problem was to have some fish. I needed something to practice on.
"Ah hah," I thought to myself! "I can go grab some sunnies and give it a shot." For years, I'd been going fishing, my mind set on a fabulous bass dinner. I'd fish and fish, and catch nothing, ending up at the supermarket on the way home, wondering what to buy for dinner. Of course there were those stupid sunnies all over the place, and bass eat sunnies; but, what the hell was I going to do with sunnies? Junk fish...that's all they were.
Sure enough, I went off to the lake and in an hour, had caught about six of the little idiots. I figured that they were so small, this new method of filleting should really get a solid practice run. Plus; if I messed up and didn't get it right, they were only junk fish, not something I really wanted to do a good job with.
The system worked! As promised, this was a way to "unzip a fish" and totally remove all the bones. In fact, despite their being only about palm-sized, the process was so good there ended up being a couple of good mouthfuls worth of meat on each of those sunnies! "Why waste food," I thought, and decided I'd fry them up real quick.
Well, to make a long story even longer, the upshot of the experiment was that sunnies taste fantastic! Being part of the overall bass family, they were easily as good as a largemouth bass, and perhaps even a bit more tasty, all things considered. Hah! And here I'd thought they were just annoying little pests that get in the way.
How often is life the same way? We're so focused on what it is we think we want, we get annoyed when something else gets in our way. Life keeps handing us just what it is we're looking for, but we don't see it because we're looking for something else. Yes, we think we're looking for what we want, but only if it's a certain shape, color, or size.
How often had I gotten my hopes up, envisioning a fantastic dinner of largemouth bass, only to be so disappointed when I went home from the lake empty-handed? I'd even grumble to myself about all those stupid sunnies, and "if only" there were some bigger fish to fry.
For how many years had I ignored all those sunnies, coming to me over and over like flocks of mosquitoes, right up to the shore, following my lure every time? And, over and over again, I'd kept my mind on the horizon, looking and looking for that bigger bass.
I was so sure that I knew exactly what I wanted! I was so sure that the only way it could happen was to catch a largemouth bass! How come I didn't notice that what I really wanted...was a fish dinner?!
The lesson here is that life is related all around. Having noticed and paid attention to sunnies year after year, I should have begun to wonder if perhaps they were the solution, not the problem. Instead of being so arrogant as to fundamentally assume that only I could solve my problem, perhaps I should have wondered if I actually knew what the problem really was?
I didn't want a bass; I wanted a fish dinner. It was only my belief system and set of assumptions that told me sunnies were too small to eat. It was only my lack of knowledge and as-yet-undeveloped skill in filleting that sustained my repeated disappointments. Years of ending up without a fish dinner had passed, and there it was, right in front of me, the solution to my problem: an excellent, easy-to-get fresh fish dinner.
What are you noticing and paying attention to every day that might be a solution? Are you looking for that bass, failing to see all those readily available sunnies? Have you re-stated your "problem" lately, or are you positive you know exactly what is the problem?
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